So, I am reading this SF novel and a couple of plucky Bertie Wooster-ish girls accidentally stumble onto some other members of the aristocracy re-enacting The Most Dangerous Game, and of course now that they know about it, they too must die. And every excruciating minute is described, all the terror and running and hiding and emotional reaction to plundering dead bodies for supplies, and what about our footprints, and how will we find water, and is it safe to light this candle, and it's all very immediate and real and logical and we're totally in the girls' heads for all of it. And so they're hiding in the cave and run into this royal guy that they *know*, who is part of the hunt, and he's like "Oh! Ladies, hi. Look, I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding." And they're like "Really? STFU. Drop your gun right now." And he does.
Then there's a chapter break, they argue a little bit, another break to find out what's happening with some other characters... and when we come back, we're in the royal guy's POV as they come out of their cave/hiding place. He's still sure this is all going to be cleared up very easily and he's still thinking of himself as the leader of the group and very comfortable giving orders to the girls. "He felt only slightly nervous with the girls behind him carrying their weapons; he had insisted that they not carry loaded weapons, in case they stumbled. .... Once they were outside in the light, they could reload."
And of course once they get outside, the Big Bad is there and he has them in his sights. *facepalm*
I kept reading, but, come on. I *do not* buy that the girls unloaded their guns, trusting in some guy *who was part of the hunting party* to protect them. Even if he is royal and he commanded them. You can't do that in the cutaway! At least give us the decision from one of the girls' POV, so they can have some sort of justification for this suicidally trusting choice to walk out into the open, completely vulnerable, with a tagged & tracked member of the hunting party that's been trying to kill them all day and night. Like, "This is probably a crappy idea, but we've got to pretend like we respect his leadership, just long enough for him to lead us back to the shuttle. It's a risk, but we can't stay here forever!" There, I just fixed it! How hard was that, really. Anyway, I feel better now.
-- I also basically felt this way for the entire 45 minutes it took me to power through "Fifty Shades of Grey." Thank goodness that
( spoilers for the end of the first book ) I can think of tons more romances that I wish had ended just like that.
Although of course now that I have read it, even though the prose is completely terrible and the characters are disturbingly off-putting in a kind of Uncanny Valley way, I can't help but get all devils' advocate about it when I see pro articles criticizing it
inaccurately. There was this article the other week that was like, "Christian's dungeon, which he calls the Red Room of Pain," and I was like, Okay, look, Christian is a special snowflake, but he's not *that* special. He just calls it the playroom, which is probably what most people with sex dungeons call their sex dungeons, because they're not a character in "Underworld." *Ana* is the one who calls it the Red Room of Pain, in her head, and the first time she says it out loud, Christian laughs at her, because she is ridiculous! Okay? Okay. (Yes, I feel better now that I've said *that*, too.)
Oh! And also, why did nobody tell me that the first bit of "Fifty Shades" takes place in PORTLAND? Ana and Christian's first explosive kiss takes place in the elevator at the Heathmann Hotel! I cannot even explain how much this cracks me up. PILGRIMAGE TO THE HEATHMANN, who's with me.
-- *thinks* Oh, I have also been reading some more Heyer. "Venetia!" D'awwww. "The Black Moth." Ugh. Has anyone written the necessary coda where the Duke of Andover gets knifed in the groin by a streetwalker and dies in the gutter? No one? Maybe I will write it myself on the blank page at the back.
Also, remember the time I read "These Old Shades" and I totally did not realize the super obvious fact that
( obvious romance trope is obvious )? Well there are these new, very pretty reprints that are just coming out, from HQN, and they put the big reveal IN THE TEASER PAGE at the front of the book! I have to think they did this on purpose because it's better to spoil people than have them read the first half of the book as basically
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james_davis_nicoll just linked to these two "reviews" of Thor and The Avengers. (The one-note joke is that the writer is analyzing them as if they were based on the Norse Myths and not Marvel Comics, and therefore any plot hole and/or inconsistency, mostly caused by the characters being stupid, is actually evidence of Loki's REAL plan being fiendishly subtle and clever.) I found the review of "Thor" mostly annoying, but the review of "Avengers" does point out some inconsistencies that I think we're *supposed* to notice, in Loki's case-- anyway, the second review also includes this idea--
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